don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
