Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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