Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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