Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
