I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
organizing the empties. That sober.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
