I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize