I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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