so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
