sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize