Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
