Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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