Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize