Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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