you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
