I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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