her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
