this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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