We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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