i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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