Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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