Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
