But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
