Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
