But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize