What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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