ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
