this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My bed smells like the plague
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize