He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
