Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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