i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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