Someone shit on the floor
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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