did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
