Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
