she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
