he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
