I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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