This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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