worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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