She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
