can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
