He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
