i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
