he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That accounts for only three of the penises
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
