More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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