did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
