He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
