U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize