maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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