Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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