About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
