He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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