So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
