Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
