no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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