That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
