Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
