nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize