at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
