I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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