fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
