i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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