So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
