WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
