someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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