you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
