I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
