Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have tasted many bathrooms
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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