After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
