Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
