At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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