that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All I want is dick and wine.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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