Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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