im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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